5 Helpful Tools to Decrease Your Mental Load

Keeping our family organized, our house clean, and—for some—keeping on top of work... what a challenge! We spend an incredible amount of energy remembering everything: taking out the laundry before going to bed, emptying the dishwasher without waking up the kids, buying strawberry jam (not the same one as last time, though—little Olivia didn't like it!), scheduling a haircut for the eldest, making a birthday card for Grandpa, booking a delightful restaurant for an al fresco night out with our sweetheart (which also means finding a babysitter), checking the kids' homework, taking out the garbage on Tuesday nights, and so on. That’s the "mental load" we have to manage!

Between our professional and personal lives, the list of obligations is endless, and the mental load can turn into burnout if it is not controlled. How can we reduce it? What can we put in place to find an acceptable balance? 

First, take a break to think about it. Finding ways to decrease our mental load takes time, from identifying what it is related to, to coming up with the right solutions and implementing them.

From mental load to mental UNLOAD—here are 5 tips and tools to lighten the load!

1. Create Dynamic and Shared To-Do Lists

Even with a well-established To-Do list, it is important to set a time to sit down and review your list. Life moves pretty fast and the list can change constantly, so this is a great habit to make. We recommend doing this once a week, on Sunday evenings, for example, to get the week off to a good start. 

A dynamic and smart To-Do List allows us to:

- Free our mind: Writing down what we must do clears the mind and, at the same time, helps us memorize the tasks. By putting words to thoughts, these tasks look less daunting, and we can organize our days more rationally.

- Manage priorities: It is okay to delete what is not essential. To choose is to renounce... but it also makes life easier! To prioritize tasks, classify them as urgent, important, secondary, or to eliminate. Project management professionals use the Eisenhower matrix, shown here, to define the importance of each task.

• For each task, assign time and, if possible, a person in charge: the goal of mental unloading is to share tasks as often as possible. We can’t be everywhere at once

Using digital To-Do Lists, like those on Share(d), will help evolve your to-do list, share it, assign others to it, customize it... and let you breathe!

2. Distribute, Delegate, Implement

Getting organized is good, but doing it together is better! A great place to start is to assign tasks based on who can do which ones best, according to their respective skills—like for a skills assessment. 

For this to work, everyone has to be on board with how the tasks have been shared—it's an absolute prerequisite. This applies not only to parents but to all helpers (grandparents, children, nanny, housekeeper, etc.).

If the tasks have been well distributed, you will have to try not to micro-manage those helpers. Trust is essential, especially if you have previously agreed on major family rules or set a framework for activities.

We’ve designed Share(d), our family app, to make it easy to delegate with love and respect! Thanks to custom and shared features, it’s easy for members within your Share(d) circle to help with errands, edit To-Do Lists, manage finances, and much more.

3. Take 30 Minutes to Yourself Every Day

It’s hard to make time for ourselves when we are caught up in our daily routines. But it only takes a few minutes a day to log off for a bit and recharge our emotional batteries. After all, our well-being influences our relationships with others.

There are different ways to take that personal time; it all depends on your personality and needs. Some will look for something quiet like going on a walk, meditating, doing yoga, or reading, while others will prefer something more active, like a bike ride or some dancing.

What matters is that you turn off your phone and enjoy a moment all to yourself. 

You can also enter this moment in your shared calendar. That way, everyone knows not to bother you!

30minutes, 1 hour, 3 hours... How much time you have doesn't matter, as long as it's quality time and does you good.

4 . Try the "Not-To-Do List" or the "Done List"

Make a list of things... not to do! After the To-Do List, a new tool to increase efficiency is being used by professionals: the "Not-To-Do List." It lists things not to do, behaviors that should be avoided, or inappropriate actions.

Life coaches recommend this tool to people wishing to watch out for bad habits, such as excessive chatting, spending too much time on social networks, etc. 

This list can be used to reduce our mental load by writing down all the things that are a burden to us, those that use up our energy, and those we truly don't enjoy. We can also use it as a mantra to help adopt positive behaviors ("don't strive for perfection," "don't justify yourself," "don't keep toxic emotions bottled up," etc.).

If making a "To-do List" is too much pressure, or if the "Not-To-Do List" does not work for you, there is yet another alternative: the "Done List." A "Done List" invites us to write down everything we've already accomplished. Its most significant benefit is motivation. The longer the list, the more we’ve completed. Something to look back on and definitely be proud of!

5. Regaining Pleasure Amidst a Busy Schedule

After the workday is over, parents usually go through the same "shower-dinner-sleep" routine. The repeated tasks, the time pressure, and the accumulated fatigue can be exhausting. 

However, these repetitive steps and "ungrateful" tasks can be fun if you throw in a dash of creativity from time to time: improvising a rain dance to get the shower running, organizing a collective sock folding workshop with the kids, eating in front of the TV on Friday nights, and so on. 

If you don't have the energy to plan an impromptu picnic on your living room floor, rest assured: research conducted by the University of Nebraska has shown that 12 minutes of laughter is all it takes to increase your energy level! A song, dance, pillow or tickle fight can help relieve stress for you and your children.

It is possible to reduce your mental load daily. Share(d), the all-in-one family app, helps you stay organized and keep your peace of mind. You can centralize your home and family organization on a single app: shared calendars, shopping lists, custody schedules, shared finances, to-do lists, document storage, and more. The app provides 12 useful and practical features to organize, share... and breathe!